This Reeks

First of all, is anyone else totally creeped out by Balloon Boy and his entire family? As soon as I heard they had been on Wife Swap twice, I knew something wasn't clean. Then they're on GMA and the Today show this morning and the kid is barfing everywhere and the parents don't seem to be that concerned that FALCON should probably be in bed. Do you think they forced him to puke to get more attention? I'm so confused. (p.s. I love the brother's face to the far left)

Hoax or not, the real question is What is up with the dad's hair?

Infuriation Nation - Deadbeat Dad Edition

It's that time again! Who is the worst, fame-whoring, money-grubbing, dead-beat dad out there??? We've got 3 contenders this week and they've all got their own specialties. Some are more experienced than others, but the bottom line is that these dads realize that being FAMOUS is always superior than just being normal. We can all agree, right. Right?

Michael Lohan

The most clearly effed up person in Hollywood is his daughter Lindsay. Instead of shutting down her career (as if she hasn't done that already) and demanding she get a hold of herself, ML has repeatedly talked to the press about her personal prescription drug problems, lesbian relationship issues, and troubles with White Oprah. We love it, but not sure the convict ML has his daughter's best interests at heart. (Why does he look like a mime in this pic?? scary!!)

Ryan O'Neal

So this guy is pretty bad. He made his daughter Tatem a raging drug addict years ago, and then most recently he was arrested for crack cocaine with his son Redmond. His kids claim he only got back together with Farrah on her death bed to get a piece of the will. It's all just sick and he seems like a grody-to-the-max person.

Jon Gosselin

Don't get me wrong. I used to watch this show. All the time! Like every week! And honestly I thought she was the biggest bitch ever and I couldn't understand how Jon (who seemed a lot like "us") could deal. Well I guess he couldn't deal. Which is understandable. But he went way off the pier of discouraged into the abyss of douchebaggery. He's unforgivable and it started with his dueling diamond studs. Mugshot's-a-comin' Jonny-boy.

VOTES TO THE RIGHT!!!!

What How Why

Ok, I'm Back! And I'll tell you what compelled me to come back was this video I just came across. Yes, it's 10 minutes long, which is absurd. But it's worth it because it Just. Keeps. Delivering. Whoever compiled it was definitely pausing for periods of time, which is annoying, but at least it gives you time to gather yourself and your thoughts and your liver. At the beginning you start to think, oh, "ain't we all been there!" No, no no no no. Something is wrong. And why, pray tell, does the shop keeper pick him up off the floor and then clearly allow him to purchase the case of Bud? Where is this place? And the time stamp says 10:50, but by the end you realize it's light outside. Good Mo'nin!!