How To Be An Important Business Woman

Hey all you ladies out there.  I know that you come to this site to learn some things about wacky celebs or odd news from around the globe.  But I know what my audience really wants.  And needs.  And it's tips on how to become a bona fide Important Business Woman.  For some people it's just an inherent trait. A god given talent that gives them the dynamic combination of fierceness and femininity.  Here's the good news for all you others out there:  it can be learned. Yes!  Follow the steps below and pay particular attention to #3.  Practice, practice, practice!!

Step 1: Dress all in black

Step 2: Smug smile - you mean business but you're not too intimidating (practice in mirror)

Step 3: ARMS CROSSED! (matter-of-factly)

There you have it....IBW!

Please see examples below, there are so many types of IBWs to choose from.  Which IBW will you be???

Temp Agency Brochure Model IBW

Professor IBW

Madam IBW

Makes $28k per year IBW

(p.s. wears disgusting open toed shoes with a suit. sick x infinity)

We Don't Only Employ White Peeps IBW

Mid-90s Law & Order IBW

No Nonsense Cyber IBW

Dental Company IBW

Receptionist by Day IBW

Awkward to the Max

MK directed me to an amazing site called Awkward Family Photos I've pasted some of my favorites below, but I suggest looking throught their site, b/c there are too many gems for me to rip off and put up on here.  I think the first one and third one may be my favorites, but it's so hard to choose.   I mean, the first one...pleather mock chaps.  Nuff said.

 Ok and this final picture below will haunt me forever.  Soooo Scared!!!

Infuriation Nation May 6

THE TRANNY EDITION!

All of these "women" could definitely be mistaken for men and they're infuriating for many different reasons. Not to mention that all of them have name recognition for having done nothing at all. I don't really have any quotes to share as I feel the pictures speak for themselves.

Tameka Foster, Chyna, Brooke Hogan

Peoples Has Kids That They Tryin To Feed

"And you mean to tell me we can't feed our kids????"

Dumb and Weird and Gross

Remember that guy who smuggled 14 birds into the country in his pants? Finally, here is the picture we've all been waiting for. I was kind of disappointed because when I hear "in pants" I assumed they were down the top of his pants, which logistically made no sense. Which made it HILARIOUS! However, I guess his little mechanism is sort of ridic...but I still want to know how NO ONE heard tweeting birds during a flight from Vietnam to California. I mean, I'm not exactly surprised that they let them out of Vietnam.

CBP (US Customs) agents inspected Dong and "found bird feathers and droppings on his socks, as well as birds' tail feathers visible under his pants." A subsequent search "discovered 14 live birds attached to two flat pieces of cloth that were wrapped around his calves. The birds included three red-whiskered bul-buls (which is listed as an injurious species under federal law), four magpie robins and six shama thrush." The birds each appear to have been placed in sleeves that were hooked on to the cloth around Dong's legs.

What's more ridiculous about this is that he bought the birds for $50 each to sell them for about $300 to $400 per. Yes, it's a good mark up, but I'm pretty sure it's going to take a whole lot more money for birds to shit on my socks in a confined pant leg for 10s of hours on a stinky plane. I'm just sayin is all.

Why do birds suddenly appear...?

Elderly man mistakes card for noisy neighbors

German police said an elderly man was so annoyed at hearing the same serenade over and over that he called authorities to report his neighbors - only to discover the culprit was a musical greeting card on his own windowsill. Police said Tuesday the 82-year-old from Goslar in central Germany told officers he was sick of the music, which would come at irregular intervals and at all hours.

Upon further investigation, police found the musical greeting card on his windowsill, where occasional breezes opened the card just enough to play an irritating tune.

Police said the retiree was happy to find out his neighbors weren't trying to annoy him.
AP