RICHARD!!!!

First of all, apologies for being MIA for the past few days.  I'm not really allowed to explain what happened, but lets just say word to the wise: don't ever cross Star Jones.  

Anyway, I'd like to delve into a topic that has intrigued all of us over the years:  Richard Simmons. So, he's definitely mentally ill, but somehow he is so endearing in his spastic outbursts.  Born in New Orleans in 1948 (yes, he's 60!), he spent most of his childhood and adolescence struggling with his weight (read: morbidly obese).  In the 1970s he began his fitness crusade, losing a ton of weight himself (over 125lbs) and began his lifetime mission of motivating others to live a healthy life. 

You all know all of that already.  What I'm here to Learn you on today is Richard's true passion.  No, I'm not talking fitness, I'm talkin dolls.  Oh yes, Richard is a doll enthusiast, and if you are lucky enough to come across one of his specials on HSN or QVC stop, drop, and watch.  It's amazing. 

I've included some of RS's precious treasures below along with info the doll wrote about him/herself on the website.  What?!  Yes, all of Richard's dolls have names, personalities, likes and dislikes.  That's why it's imperative you watch him present these dolls on his infomercial.  Sorry the pics are so small below but visit here to be thoroughly creeped.  

Webbie Hannah

Hi, I'm Webbie Hannah from California. I'm so glad you could join me! I love to collect buttons! My first button is still my favorite, it's a gold antique flower that came from my grandmother's wedding dress. I keep it on a string with my other favorites. I meet lots of new people everyday while chatting with the Webbies. We get together to visit, and best of all we search websites and chat rooms to find little treasures, like... you know, buttons. My collection of buttons continues to grow but the search must I go on. I've been busy as a bee and could use a little help. Maybe you should join us! I really hope you do. See you then! :-) Webbie Hannah.

Norman

Meet the treasure of my life, Norman. Guess where I met him? On a train! He worked for the railroad company for over 40 years and when he retired he received this brilliant gold watch. He loves to collect old trains and build scenery around them. I think he spends too much time in the basement working on those trains. I have to share him with two things and two things only, the daily crossword puzzles and his train collection. After he is finished with his trains each night, we get to play a good game of dominos before gong to bed, which I always win!

Miss Bea

I'd like to introduce you to Miss Bea. She is Norman's unmarried sister who teaches piano and plays the organ in church regularly. She has three friendly cats: Mr. Belle, Bester Chester and Mr. Theo DeThump. It is rumored that Miss Bea had "a secret admirer" by mail whose identity always remained a family mystery. It is a mystery even to Marge, who generally knows everything. Bea's manners are impeccable. She often keeps her piano students after lessons for lunch or tea, where she demonstrates the proper use of the napkin, or how to hold a cup.

Webbie Debbie

Hi, I’m Webbie Debbie! When my father’s not busy he lets me play on his laptop computer and gosh I meet so many friends! I send e-mails and chat to stay in touch but mostly I look for nail polish. Can you tell? I guess you can call me a collector, my mom says I have too many shades of blue but what’s a girl to do? I’ve me t so many friends who collect like me but different things like marbles, crystals and buttons. I’ll stick to nail polish, but like Daddy says “to each her own”! We call ourselves the Webbies, I’m sure you’ll meet us all real soon for a chat. I can’t wait! :-) Webbie Debbie

Yes, the first pic of WD is clearly from some sort of display in a store or god forbid museum.  Doesn't she in a way kind of remind you of Bette Midler in the mid-70s version of her character in Beaches?

Also I spent longer than I care to admit looking at the doll website and I can't figure out for the life of me who "I" is in all the oldie-people doll write-ups.  "Someone" is speaking in the first person and I can't figure out who it is.  Is it Richard?  Does Richard think he's really twins with Sister Mary Margaret or married to Norman or has a brother named Jake?  Oh Richard.